Oh What A Feeling!!

Can I just say, ahhhhhhh.......  

Yesterday, (after 3 needle sticks, a heating pad, and a new nurse) I was hooked up to a 500ml bag of saline and iron dextran for just under six hours.  Though the day was long (and the Benedryl they gave me knocked me out), I felt blessed for my health.  Since iron infusions are given at the cancer center, I'm usually surrounded by patients receiving rounds of chemo.  The bond between cancer patients and families seems so intimate, personal, everyone praying for everyone.  I had this feeling of guilt wash over me,  guilty for not having cancer and for invading these intimate moments shared by those around me.  I wasn't sure how to act, look, feel when the lady next to me asked what type of cancer I was being treated for.  I almost felt bad for saying that I wasn't there for cancer treatments, not while she was fighting for her life in stage 4 breast cancer.  So many people came and went while I was there, so many people had a story to share with me, a story of strength and success, trials and tribulations.  Fighting.  Fighting for survival.  So, despite the ugly, swollen, infiltrated vein, I left feeling enlightened and inspired, with a fresh outlook on life and giving. 

Today the color is back in my face, my steps felt light and free, my heart didn't pound quite as hard or as painful, and I managed to accomplish several errands without taking catnaps in parking lots!!  This is the first day in weeks that I haven't napped in the car, and it felt insanely awesome.  Went the whole day without feeling crabby or irritated, not one single headache, and at 9:50pm, I'm still awake!!!  I can't even believe the difference, I'm a new person for sure.  In retrospect, I wish this had been done this weeks ago, but I'm celebrating this fabulous feeling of strength.

Picked up my bib number today for the 10 mile race on Saturday morning.  While there, I walked past several tables filled with running paraphernalia and had a few people ask me if I was interested in any of it.  It's funny, but today, I smiled and thanked them while on the inside, I was just celebrating the fact that I am able to run.  Health is a glorious thing and sometimes you just need to sit back and celebrate it.  Whether or not my body has absorbed enough iron to make a difference in my running, I'm delighted that it will in time.  I will run the race Sat. with my dad cheering from the sidelines.  That is what I call inspiring, amazing, special, and fabulous.  He was the reason I began running at the age of 7, and he's still at my side at the age of 39.