This week, being spring break for the kids, has mostly been a big blur. It began last Friday when I cleaned the upstairs until 2am so that I wouldn't have to deal with it all weekend. It carried on over into Saturday with a full day of three kids, more cleaning, multiple trips to Home Depot, and a little baking. Let's see, did I go to bed that night? Nope, not until 5am and only for 3 hrs because the two year old doesn't know how to sleep in on the weekends yet!! By Sunday, my brain was in a fog and I don't remember much of that day except that I made two trips to McDonald's for their large, caffeinated Coke! Sunday night the big fun began. The moment our teenager has been waiting for, painting/decorating the attic for her. The three of us painted until 11pm, I then sent them to bed so I could finish up (and touch up their "mistakes"), I finally rolled into bed at 4am. I love to paint, I've always painted murals on my children's bedroom walls, I enjoy it. However, by Monday I was not loving myself nor how I was feeling. Lack of sleep, horrible running workouts (or lack of), still can't shake this sinus infection, and I'm a mess. This is what happens when your husband goes out of town, your kids con you into re-decorating, and you have that parent guilt that says you need to keep them happy. It's a balancing act, can't devote too much time to any one thing or someones feelings get hurt (including your own). Every night has been devoted to cleaning, painting, re-arranging, carrying furniture up and down 2 flights of stairs, and sheer exhaustion but the results are fantastic!
Needless to say, with all the fatigue and lack of sleep, my training since last Friday has been horrendous! I attempted to run 24 miles on Tuesday. I began from my house, ran to the trail, went around the trail twice, walked several times, blew my nose 300 times, coughed for most of it, and finally succumbed at mile 10. I happened to see a friend of mine in the parking lot and begged her for a ride home, there was no way I was able to run back, what a failed attempt! I convinced myself to sleep 6 hrs Tues night in hopes I could run 24 on Wed., but that all went to the wayside at 3am. The only saving grace was that it was sunny and warm Wed. morning, so I pushed myself out the door and forced a 12 mile run at an 8:11 pace. I kept telling myself that if I didn't run fast, I would be the last finisher at Boston...don't want that. My legs have felt like lead, my stomach is screaming at me to not drink this syrupy Coke, and my brain is telling me it needs sleep!! Okay, I'm listening.
Here's the thing. I'm a mother AND a runner, not one more than the other. Sometimes you have to make exceptions to rules, re-schedule plans, make room for changes, and that's what needed to happen this week. In looking back, I wouldn't have changed a thing. Despite the sweat, blood, and hard work, I had a week full of chatter from my kids and a chance to re-connect with them in an amazing way. I was able to teach them how to build a coffee table, use a jig-saw, paint in tight spaces, free hand a mural, build storage units, hang pictures, use power tools, and work with one another. Though I was stressing from my horrible training week just 8 days prior to a marathon, I also know that my family comes first and the running, it's just the cherry on top of my fabulous life. Maybe my body needed this time off from running, maybe it will benefit me in the end or maybe it will kill me at mile 16 of the race, who knows. In the grand scheme of life, this is minor.
1 comment:
It was great to see you on Thursday! I know you are bummed and feel that everything seems to be a mess right now with training, being sick, etc...just keep rolling. You're exactly right, running is just one aspect of yourself. It neither defines you nor dictates your direction as a human being. Yes, its hard to keep perspective with something that you're so passionate about, but I think you are on the right track. No pun intended ;) Hope you have a wonderful weekend Lora!
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