Feels like it's been ages since a good workout, and that scares me. I'm beginning to doubt my training, doubt my abilities, doubt my fitness level, doubt this marathon all together. I know, this is "normal" when you're in taper time, but it still feels unsettling and I don't like it.
Kids were on Spring break this week so we took a much needed family vacation down to Charleston, SC. It was refreshing to get away, go somewhere new, and spend quality family time. But with that (just 2 weeks before marathon day) comes a fear that I struggle with....the fear that I'll get off track, eat poorly, won't be able to do the correct workouts, won't know where to run in an unfamiliar place. I felt that inner struggle of finding peace in the family vacation and a happy medium with my workouts, although I'm not sure I ever came to a sense of stability. Yes, I ate poorly, struggled to get in a good run, stayed up way too late, and did way too much walking. Now I'm feeling guilty for those things, but at the same time I'm elated with the ebb and flow of our family. It was great to get away, great to re-connect, guess I'll grin and bear it and see what happens next.
Monday barely managed 40 min on the trainer
Tuesday was a 3.6 mile light jog around the city of Charleston
Wednesday about 6-7 miles of walking around the town
Thursday 2x400, 2x800, 1 mi warm up/1 mi cool down
Today was a 4 mile hilly run that absolutely sucked... stopped 4 times to catch my breath and struggled through each mile.... this just added to my fear of failure. At least today was massage therapy so at least I'm feeling 20 lbs lighter.
Saturday will be an off day
Sunday will be 10-12 miles
I'm just not feeling this taper thing. It really throws me off. I'd rather just continue running as usual since that's what I'm used to, oh the struggle....
Day 10 of NO peanut M&M's.....I think I'll make it.
9 Days until Marathon day
3 comments:
Remember, taper is necessary (just like my horrible cardio..ha)...its all part of the process. Do what you need to do, one day at a time, and it will all culminate to an excellent finish :)
You're going to do just fine... that is what a taper is SUPPOSED to feel like... but on race day, all those doubts and feelings disappear and you just run.
I sure hope you're both right!!! :)
This fear of failure (not attaining a goal I set out to achieve) has a bit of a grip on me this time around....
Post a Comment