Whew, made it to the taper!

Every marathon I train for proves to be long, hard, strenuous, and ends with a bitter sweet taper time.  I'm always relieved that I physically made it to the taper without injury, but tend to stress that I didn't run enough, sprint enough, or suck it up enough in order to enjoy the taper period.  Ahhh, I'm such a mental case. :)

Last week was my final strenuous 40 plus mile week, but the week fell short with the long run not quite making it into the week.  After having my friend bail on me at 5:45am Sunday morning, I attempted to psych myself into running solo for the 20 miles, so I continued the morning routine and headed out to the trail.  I didn't see a single car or person at the trail when I got there, so spent another 30 min driving to another trail in hopes that I'd have company.  I had mentally prepared to run the 20 miles while my friend biked beside me, carrying the water/GU supplies and keeping my mind distracted while I focused on running a negative split.  My plan was to have this run be a race day practice run through, so once I knew I was going to have to run alone, run with water, and carry a cell phone.....I think my brain and body just deflated....the motivation went out the window.  I sat in the car for 30 min trying to get myelf movitvated to do this 20 miler, but my legs were still so heavy, my brain was talking me out of it, and I just couldn't do it.

I realize now that for the past 3 long runs, I've run with people who are much faster than me.  Sure, I can keep an 8:05-8:20 pace for the first 12-14 miles, but I'm not conditioned well enough at this point to sustain that for an entire 22 mile run, and I didn't.  Even though these were successful runs, it was too much race pace for me and I'm now paying the price even with extra days off.....heavy, sluggish, tired, sore......not good.  I'm not sure what to do next, run through it or add even more days off.

So, this week begins the taper period.  It's  a good thing I'm not going for a PR anytime soon. :)  I will enjoy it and see what happens, day by day.